Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Mommy Blues

Okay, vent session coming on…. Just trying to gain a better perspective of how I can accomplish my weight loss goals.

Right now my number one priority is to be a mom to my kids.  Each Sunday night as I lie in bed I get out a pad of paper and write down my goals for the next week.  Some times my list is full of “To Do’s”  other times it has great aspirations about calorie counting and future work outs.  It feels good to map out my week and slip into restful slumber.

Sometimes the restful slumber is awakened in the middle of the night by my children crying out, for one reason or another.  The most recent weeks have brought my teething 15 month old son, sad in painful tears throughout all hours.  My 2 ½ year old daughter has even contributed to the all night mommy parties.  Late last week she woke up at 2:30am, we brought her to our bed in hopes she would go back to sleep and we could get some rest.  3:15am it was apparent that she was not going to go back to sleep, so we trudged out to the living room so dad could get some rest.  She wanted to talk my ear off.  It is like her brain was processing so much and she was trying to process all she had taken in the previous day.  Sleep didn’t come until 5:30am, after her chatter, moving around getting into trouble I had had enough, I insisted she lie down and go to sleep.  After some fussing, she finally did fall asleep, and so did I.

So here I am exhausted day after day, just from my duties of being a mom/dealing with my children.  I did really well for many months at getting to the gym 4-5 times a week, the losing weight has been slow even on my best weeks with exercise and eating well, which is incredibly frustrating!!

I guess I am calling out to all moms who have been where I am at.  My intentions and goals are all well meaning in my weight loss, but honestly after getting sick two weeks ago I have really been struggling.  My daughter (who is behaviorally challenging) and my son (who is incredibly curious) take every ounce of energy I seem to have most days.  I aim high when I set my weekly goals and recently I am not able to follow through.  I am trying hard to not let it get to my head and get me even more discouraged.  What has worked for you?  How do you do the balancing act with young children?

Today I was determined to get to the gym. Our day started about 6:45am.  The gym childcare opens at 8:45am, closes between the hours of 1-4pm, then opens back up from 4-8pm.  My goal is to get there usually around 9:15.  My son was having a really rough morning, which halted all plans of leaving the house.  My sister-in-law called and asked if I could watch her youngest two kids while she took the older two to the dentist.  So that delayed any gym plans.  My son was still crabby and had I gone to they gym they would have called me out anyhow.  My sister-in-law offered to take my daughter to her house to play when she came to get her kids.  I was happy I would be getting a little break and she was happy to get to play with cousins.

I decided when I went to pick her up this afternoon I would hit the gym on my way back home when the childcare opened back up.  Since my daughter is used to going in the morning, the mix of changing things up and her being tired was the perfect recipe for disaster.  She cried and started throwing a fit before we even got out of the car.  My hopes were she would warm up and be happier once we got inside.  I should have just stopped there at the car door.  The trek across the parking lot and just getting into the door of the gym were filled with crying and screaming.  I had the attention of all the people working out, I even had two people get off their work out machine trying to come to the aid of my daughter when she threw herself in front of the door as it was swinging shut and she fell to the ground.  She tantrumed on the ground yelling, “Candy! Candy!”  I am sure the people were thinking, “Yes, and now we know how your mommy got fat!”

One of the gym workers who knows my children came over and helped us back to the kid room, the crying continued, now my son decided to join in.  I kneeled on the floor trying to compromise with my daughter to get happy and play.  It wasn’t working, not one bit.  My daughter just wasn’t going to calm down.  I decided we would get out of there before my son started back up.

As we were leaving the gym a man who I have never seen before ( I am normally a morning gym rat) said, “Time for her candy?”  I replied, “Oh no, no candy for her.  We were not here long enough for that.”  My daughter actually walked out the door as I held her brother.  Once we got outside the tantrum heated back up.  She wasn’t going to move a muscle.  I swooped her up with my other arm, trying to balance her brother and my two bags, I must have looked atrocious. This is my work out, every day.  Carrying children.  Some days that is all I can get.

So here I sit utterly exhausted reflecting, “How can I make goals that are reachable for this stage my children are in.” I know this time is only a season, but sometimes I want to have and do it all.  Realistically speaking, I can not. I am educated and should know how to deal with some of my situations with my daughter, for goodness sake I have degrees in special education and early childhood development!  Why can’t I balance it all??

I have a wonderful husband who is very helpful, but he can only do so much and recently he has had to work overtime so he has even more on his plate.

So here is the good news… (and possibly the bad news)
Tomorrow is a new day and I get to start fresh again!!

So mommas out there in blog land, how do you balance the juggling act?


  1. First off stop! You are putting way too much pressure on yourself. Being educated has nothing to do with why you can’t solve this problem easily. Kids don’t go by a textbook and they always do as they please when they are in one of those moods no matter how great they normally are.

    It’s time to start compromising to accomplish your goals. It was obviously not a day that the gym was going to work for you. Maybe on days like this you are just going to have to work out at home. Maybe you could even get the kids involved. Walks around the neighborhood, going to the playground and running around. The more you move the more calories you burn. Kids love to keep moving and they will probably join in. I will race you to that tree seems to get most kids running, they love a challenge and they love to win.

    Get a jump rope for yourself and get your daughter a little jump rope. Although she might not get the hang of it she will have fun trying and you can get some exercise at the same time. Kicking a ball burns calories, running up and down the driveway burns calories and no doubt they will be running behind you flailing their arms having a blast. Make a game out of it for not only yourself but for them. The more they move the better off they will be too. Heck if nothing else they will sleep better.

    At Wal-Mart they carry Gold Gym products. A lot of them are under $10 and are things you can be doing right in the living room. You can get arm band, free weights, Pilates balls, and so on. They are not too expensive and they are things you can do while hanging around the house. Heck some of them you can do while you are watching Sesame Street. Sit ups, pushups, jumping jacks, or even running in place can be done while watching TV. If you are lucky enough to get them to take naps or once they go to be you could try and get a little workout in at home too.

    Your stress could be stressing them out too. Remember kids love to feed on your emotions and when you are feeling down they take full advantage of you. Don’t pressure yourself. One thing I have found is the more stressed I am, or allow others to do to me the more likely I am to eat when I shouldn’t, eat what I shouldn’t and be so drained that I don’t want to work out.

    Just go with the flow. Your weight loss will happen as long as you stay determined. Just be patient and it will come. The kids will settle down and when the time is right everything will fall into place. Release the stress and it will all work out!!

    1. Thanks Colie! Lots of great tips. Thank you for the encouragment! I am going to try some of them out.