Friday, June 3, 2011

Welcome to my Blog

Hi my name is Amber and I am a sugar addict.  I have been a sugar addict since my childhood and I am yearning to overcome this weakness that creates such turmoil in my life. 

I am a mom of two: a two year old girl and a seven month old boy.  I have found that since having my children, I am battling sugar more than ever.  I seem to be a hormonal rollercoaster, lacking sleep and wanting to eat when the babes are crying. 

I am married to a man who loves soda and chocolate.

Before getting married I controlled my sugar addiction by not keeping any sugar in the house. I ate treats and sweets when with friends, but I tried to keep it out of my daily life.  I still had struggles, but I was able to manage the urge to eat, by not having it there.  I like to bake, but I don’t do it much in fear of eating it.

My realization….  I gained 50 lbs. with my two pregnancies.  I would like to have more children, but I can’t imagine gaining more.  I am on a quest to overcome, so that when my husband and I are ready to add to our family I might be able to endure pregnancy and post-partum with out gaining another 50 lbs.  Of coarse that is just a surface issue.  I have a lot of deep roots with sugary goodness.  I have always enjoyed the temporary comfort it brings and I have developed scary addictive behavior in the past seven months since my son was born.  It is frightening  me. 

Over the weekend my extended family gathered at my grandmother’s house to celebrate Memorial Day.  I arrived late after a dinner at my in-laws.  I knew they would have sugary snacks there and I wanted to participate in some of the yummy goodness.  I socialized with family for a while before I retreated to the kitchen to find and devour some mint brownies my sister-in-law had made.  I am finding myself thinking about the food at gatherings, wanting and craving, and attending, just so I can eat it.  This seems like really unhealthy, erratic behavior.  It scares me and I am ready to address it and move forward.

A few days ago I ate a whole large bag of peanut M&M’s.  I started it on Monday and finished it off on Tuesday.  I have never done that and I know I did it out of emotional/hormonal eating.  Last night my husband wanted brownies and I caved like a mad woman.  I couldn’t wait to taste the sugary, chocolaty goodness on my palate.

To top off my sugar addiction I have Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar).  I was diagnosed 12 years ago and after my diagnosis I changed my diet and I lost 40lbs with out hardly any exercise and felt like a new person; energetic, happy and confident. I kept it off for a couple of years… then college got the best of me.  I was poor and ate a poor college student’s diet.  Pounds snuck on and my sugar addiction ebb and flowed. And here I am now, 50lbs beyond that gain.

I am here to be candid and I am here to journal my experience to a healthier life.  My intentions are not to give up sugar forever.  My intentions are to learn how to overcome the want and the need to eat sugar.  My intentions are to replace my bad habits with healthy habits.  My intentions are to teach my kids healthy habits too.

Come join me on my journey of learning, growing and overcoming!

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